Raven Read online

  I don't know how long for but all I could do was stare at him as he gazed ahead, chin resting in his arms on the rail. How often had I thought almost exactly the same thing? I wonder if he realized the chord he'd struck with me in those words. I searched his face for any signs of insincerity, and as usual found none. Maybe we really were two kindred flames amidst the fire.

  "I feel the same," I finally said. "I've never been what anyone expected me to be. I stopped caring about trying to figure it out a long time ago."

  "I know," Chayton said, chuckling. "That's one of the things I like about you."

  "One of the things?" I asked, perplexed by the notion that there could possibly be more than one thing about me Chayton liked. Hell, I was surprised he'd found one thing. And not the thing I expected, either. More perplexing was that for some reason his words made my pulse quicken.

  "What? You're surprised?"

  "Well, yeah." I didn't consider myself or anything about me likeable. That I had done something to influence Chayton into liking anything about me was astonishing, let alone multiple things. There must be something wrong with him. There just had to be. Because I couldn't see what about me would appeal to anyone.

  A kid climbed up on the bridge like it was the jungle gym I thought it resembled, invading our space rudely and loudly. Our time on the bridge was up, it seemed. I went down the other side, and Chayton followed.

  "Want to walk towards the shrines?" Chayton asked.

  I nodded in assent and began walking with him. As we made our way in that direction, I stole glances of our reflections in the koi ponds, like they would hold the answers to all my questions. What made Chayton like me and want to be around me? I'd done nothing, said nothing. Not that I knew of. While we did share a few similarities, fundamentally we were very different. Chayton was kind, warm, and approachable. Look up all of the antonyms of those, and you got me. We were like black and white. Hot and cold. Night and day.

  Walking beside each other we were quite an odd sight too. There was Chayton, with his long braid of hair, bronzed skin, and peaceful smile. Then there was me, pale with messy black hair that fell in uneven strands around my face, and my dark violet, almost black eyes.

  Nothing about us from the outside seemed to mesh, and yet, as time went on, little hints of similarities came out of the woodwork and revealed themselves to me. Did Chayton see them too? Perhaps that was what kept him coming back.

  I was mostly quiet for the remainder of our walk around the tea garden, lost in my thoughts. In the blink of an eye it seemed, we were on our way out. Chayton was right; stepping out of the garden was like returning to a different world entirely.

  I quickly remembered as we were walking out of the park that we had to use public transportation again to return back to campus. Suddenly the urge to say, "Oh look I have wings!" so I could fly us—or at least myself—back instead was greatly appealing. I refrained, despite how much I didn't want to be cooped up in a small space with a bunch of other people and no way out again.

  I took Chayton's advice and focused on something else: him. The whole way back, I watched him. His smile, his face, his braid tumbling over his shoulder. Somehow, watching him calmed me.

  I was relieved once we were finally on foot again, with the campus in sight. The Campanile towering above the horizon had never looked so comforting.

  "So, did you like it?"

  "Yeah. I can see why you like that place," I replied truthfully.

  "I'm glad." We arrived at my dorm building, and Chayton stepped just inside the door with me. "I had a good time."

  "I did, too," I said. "Even though I had to suffer through a train ride there and back."

  Chayton laughed. "I'm sorry."

  "Don't be. I guess it wasn't too bad…since you were there." The way that made him smile, it was like a flame igniting in a dark room—brilliant and alluring—and I couldn't help focusing on his lips. For a moment I forgot to breathe.

  "Avari?" He took a step closer to me.

  "Yeah?"

  "Would it be okay if I touch you?" Chayton asked.

  I swallowed and stared into his eyes. He was so close, closer than I realized. His question made me tremble. To be perfectly honest, I was scared as hell of how close we'd become, and I was running out of reasons to resist letting Chayton in.

  I gave a single nod, taking in a shaky breath as Chayton reached up and touched my cheek, not breaking eye contact with me. Automatically I tensed. Looking into his deep eyes, I found myself quickly calming, relaxing.

  "Still okay?" His fingers brushed my cheekbone, sending shivers down my spine.

  "Yeah," I said, barely a whisper. We were just inside the dorm hall, where anyone could see us, but I didn't care. I kept my eyes locked with his.

  He moved closer and touched his forehead to mine. "I like you."

  Chayton's bluntness caught me off guard, left me at a loss for words. Still I didn't understand him, didn't get why he would even like me. And yet, he did. "I um…I like you, too." His fingers traced my jawline, and his lips grazed over mine, for just an instant. I had barely sucked in a gasp before it ended.

  He kissed my cheek, then pulled back. "See you later."

  I only nodded, my ability to form words completely gone at this point. All I could think of as he walked away was how my skin still tingled where his fingers and lips had been.

  8

  Unable to concentrate on anything, I went for a fly, hoping to clear my mind. What happened with Chayton was unexpected. Being touched was something I was unaccustomed with to begin with, and being touched like that by him…that was a different beast entirely.

  It had been thrilling, yet at the same time frightening. Just like touching an open flame. And like a burn, I could still feel it long afterward. How could one person make me feel this way? In mere seconds, everything had changed between us.

  If only temporarily, I needed something to get my thoughts off of Chayton's eyes, his hands, his smile…his lips. I returned my attention to the city below me, never stopping, ever chaotic—even more than my racing mind and racing pulse—and contemplated having a go at something as Raven. As an added bonus, perhaps I'd grab Falcon's attention.

  I'd failed to make any headway with him when I approached him as my normal self. Why had he given me the cold shoulder like that? He seemed in such a hurry to be off. I guess all those elderly crossing the treacherous lanes of San Francisco traffic needed urgent assistance, or something. Whatever the reason, he hadn't been keen on talking with me at all.

  It made my blood boil to be blown off like that. I used that anger to fuel my fire. I slipped on my mask, then swooped down and sent some flames at a helpless lamppost. I made a circuitous path through the city, sending my flames at things as I saw fit. Before long, I could hear sirens in the distance. Grinning wide, I kept moving.

  "Raven!"

  Ah, there's the guest of honor. "Catch me if you can!" I flew away from him, beating my wings as hard as I could. Falcon was hot on my heels. With his lightning fast speed, keeping out of his reach was a chore and a half.

  "Stop running away!" Falcon growled.

  "I don't think so!" I chuckled and kept flying as fast as I could. The more I stalled, the greater chance Falcon would do something more interesting, like use an ability such as the fire I possessed. Even if I couldn't get him to say what he was, there was a chance that something he did would reveal some clue. Maybe if I made him angry enough, he'd crack like I did when I got fed up.

  "You're so slow!" I taunted. "Surely you can do better than that! Show me what you can really do!"

  As we weaved our way through the city, I flung more fire at objects just for added amusement, and to get Falcon fired up even more.

  "Just stop this!"

  A second later, he had my wrist in his grip. I let the fireball in my palm go loose, hitting somewhere out of my sight. "You caught up, I see."

  "Why are you doing this?"

  I shrugged. "Because I feel like it. Why are you doing this? Wait, better question. How are you doing this? Tell me what you are!"

  "You're coming with me," he said instead of answering me. I could hear several sirens nearing us.

  "No, I'm not." I swung my other fist at him, following it up immediately with a kick to his stomach. With him busy doubling over, I flew off as quickly as my wings could carry me. After I had some distance between Falcon and the sirens, I landed and stayed out of sight, only moving once the action seemed to have died down.

  I walked the streets, thinking about my latest encounter with Falcon. He seemed unwilling to give me answers of any kind. I mean, I guess it was logical that a superhero wouldn't want to reveal the source of his powers. Wasn't he even just a little bit curious about me, though? He didn't act like it. All he seemed to care about was taking me in.

  I wanted answers. I could keep doing this until he gave me what I wanted. Each time I did though, I ran the risk of Falcon gaining the upper hand on me, of being taken down or turned in by him. He could try all he wanted. I wasn't going anywhere without a fight. There had to be some way to get him to talk.

  * * *

  The next time I saw Chayton in class, he smiled at me. Only now it was different. His smile seemed more intimate somehow, like there was some secret that only the two of us knew.

  I sat down beside him, my nerve endings on fire from the proximity, even though we weren't even touching. It was like my body remembered what had happened between us and ignited the moment I was near Chayton again.

  "Uh… Hi," I managed to blurt. What else should I say? How should I act? Did what happened change things between us, change Chayton's expectations of me?

  "Hi," Chayton said, smiling warmly. I stared at him, probably longer than I should have. "Avar
i?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Will you turn on the burner?"

  "Yeah." I quickly flipped it on and turned my attention to our lab, trying to shake off my buzzing nerves. For the remainder of class, I was keenly aware of Chayton's presence. Was he sitting closer than normal, or was I imagining things?

  "Do you want to go out later?" Chayton asked as we were packing up our things.

  "Okay."

  "Great! I'll meet you at the student center around eight." Chayton smiled wide, then waved. "See you then."

  Suddenly I was so concerned with how I looked. My hair, which was an ever untamable mess, my clothes, everything. It seemed ridiculous I should care now. I told myself it didn't matter, over and over, because it hadn't mattered before, but before I hadn't been worried about if going out with Chayton had been a date or not. Chayton didn't care what I wore or how my hair looked. Did he? He hadn't seemed to mind before.

  I growled at my hair and gave up on it. I never cared what anyone else thought of me, and Chayton shouldn't be an exception to the rule, regardless of what had transpired between us. Proceeding as normal was the best course of action. Besides, there was still a chance that this was a fluke of some sort, and Chayton would show that unpleasant side of him that I'd been waiting for.

  I arrived early at the student center and waited for Chayton. I repeated to myself to just act normal several times, but it wasn't helping my nerves any. Glancing around, my eye settled on one of the TVs. My interest was piqued by the headline: Arsonist Raven Evades Falcon Again.

  I read the closed captioning. "The elusive arsonist known as Raven has escaped again from the hero Falcon. When our field reporter attempted to question Falcon after his most recent encounter with Raven, Falcon declined to respond. With one person injured, and in critical condition as a direct result of Raven, the threat he poses is now greater than ever. Is Falcon capable of thwarting Raven before innocent lives are taken?"

  I paled. Someone had been hurt, seriously injured, by me. By my hands, my flames. I looked down at my hands, now trembling. This was… I didn't know what to think of this. When I'd started this, my intention had been just to burn off my pent up anger by burning up a few things, not to actually hurt—and almost kill—anyone.

  I'd been enjoying this dangerous game I was playing, caught up in the thrill. I was more interested in what I could gain from being Raven, like possibly finding out more about Falcon. Until now, I hadn't realized that what I was doing would really have any effect on someone other than myself. Sure, burning up things would make a lot of people have a shitty day. But almost ending someone's life, putting them in the hospital...that was more than making someone have a shitty day, more than just me having a little fun. Suddenly, things were much more serious. Raven wasn't just some winged guy who liked to commit arson. Now, he had harmed an innocent person. Raven was a true wrongdoer, a villain. He had almost killed someone.

  I had almost killed someone.

  My whole body shook with that revelation, and for the first time since I'd started being Raven, I wondered if it was worth it.

  I ran my shaky hands through my hair and took a deep breath. I had to pull myself together, even if it was only temporarily. Chayton would be here any moment.

  "Hey, Avari," Chayton said, as if right on cue.

  I jumped and looked up at him. "Hey." I prayed that I looked composed enough for him not to notice anything was off.

  "Are you ready to go?"

  "Yeah."

  We started walking, to where I didn't know and didn't care at this point. I watched Chayton, thinking of when his lips had grazed over mine for that instant. That moment felt so far away, like it was so long ago, even though it wasn't.

  "Avari?"

  "Hm?"

  "Can I hold your hand?"

  This was a date, wasn't it? "Um…okay." He took my hand, and immediately my nerve endings felt like they had been set on fire.

  Not that I cared, but I wondered if we'd get a few stares, two guys walking down the street holding hands. It's not like we were in some small backwards hick town though. This was the Bay area. Most people didn't give us a second glance.

  We arrived at our destination, a Mexican restaurant in a small brick building. The place was quaint, and definitely not fancy. Which meant it was probably pretty good. I appreciated that Chayton didn't try to take me on some fancy date. It was a lot less pressure.

  "Have you been here before?" Chayton asked after we ordered.

  "No."

  "It's pretty good."

  Chayton hadn't steered me wrong on his food choices yet, so I believed him. He didn't let go of my hand until we sat down.

  "Are you really sure you like me?" I asked, unable to help myself. I still didn't get it.

  Chayton chuckled. "Should I not?"

  I shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't get it."

  "We don't have to have the answers to everything, you know. Sometimes it's better to just go with what feels right, and not question why." Chayton smiled and poked my forehead. "Besides, all that worrying for nothing will give you worry lines." I rubbed my head where he'd touched and frowned. "And all that frowning will give you frown lines, too."

  "Will not," I muttered. "That's ridiculous."

  Chayton giggled. "It's true!"

  "Whatever. You're weird."

  "You like it," Chayton replied.

  Maybe I did.

  We walked back to the campus afterward, hand in hand again. "Can I walk to your room with you?" Chayton asked.

  "If you want."

  By the time we got to my room, my heart was racing with anticipation, perhaps recalling what had happened the last time we said our goodbyes.

  "This is me," I said, stopping at my door.

  "I had fun," Chayton said with a smile, giving my hand a squeeze. "Even if you were a little too serious."

  "You should know what to expect by now." I smirked. "Besides, you wouldn't keep coming around if you didn't like it."

  "Yeah, true." My smirk turned into a smile at the way he looked at me. "I finally got you to smile."

  "Yeah, so?"

  "You have a nice smile." Chayton chuckled and stepped closer, staring me in the eyes. "Can I...kiss you goodnight?"

  I nodded, and he leaned in, pressing a tentative kiss to the corner of my lips. I didn't flinch or pull back, just remained perfectly still, trying to take it all in. Then he kissed me directly on the lips. This kiss was nothing like the first one—it was firmer, lingering. I wasn't sure what to do, and for a moment I was frozen. I pressed my lips back against his, my head spinning. Two forces warred in my head. One protesting because I was so close to Chayton and the other telling me not to stop, begging for more. I didn't know which one to listen to.

  Chayton pulled back and smiled at me. "Goodnight, Avari."

  "Night."

  He gave me another quick kiss, then left. I went into my room and lay on my bed, replaying the past few moments in my head over and over again.

  I still had that urge to question Chayton's motives, to demand his true intentions. Though now, I wasn't sure I wanted to know if they weren't sincere. If something were to happen at this point, I had a feeling I'd actually be disappointed, hurt.

  I thought of Chayton's words: Sometimes it's better to just go with what feels right, and not question why.

  I was always quick to question. There was no reason that Chayton should like me. But maybe there didn't have to be. Maybe that was okay. What else was it he said?

  We don't have to have the answers to everything.

  That may be true. Everything didn't need an answer. Why Chayton wanted to be around me may not need an answer. If I let go and stopped thinking about why, it might be better.

  Some things did need answers though. Like, who I really was, what I was. I wanted to know, needed to know. There was someone within my grasp that might just have the answer to the question that had burned within me all my life. With each time I proceeded down this path, kept on trying to get straight answer out of Falcon, the danger became greater. Raven was already a wanted man, but now was a wanted man for hurting an innocent person.

  If I were to let Falcon slip from my fingers though, I might never find the answer.

  No matter what, I still wanted to figure out Falcon once and for all. That alone was reason enough to keep being Raven for me. Maybe it would be best to lay low for a while. Not too long, just enough time for things to die down a bit, for the news and the people and me to calm down, even if only a little.